The holidays are upon us, and there’s a reverberation in the air; a sense of cheer, or buzz! In the midst of a pandemic, holiday celebrations posed limitations, barriers, and threats to many family units. Lifting the cloak of heaviness, fear, and sadness that have been draped over our communities for the last few years has curtailed celebrations, joy, and fun of the hectic holiday seasons. Despite this, celebratory seasons can be challenging, exhausting, and downright stressful. The veneer of smiles, romance, and festivities that come with seasons of cheer can send us into an emotional spiral of confusion; feeling silly for not aligning our authentic feelings with the external world.
Some of the experiences that are tied to the season of celebrating include work demands, minimal time to spend alone, accommodating others’ needs and expectations, communication barriers with family, friends, or partners, navigating painful memories, heightened work demands, experiences of loneliness, experiences of dis-connect with the self, or financial constraints. Do any of these ring true for you? Well, today we’ll share some functional tips for you to consider and acknowledge to help with navigating the holidays and manage stress levels during celebratory seasons.
Find your Ally
Off the top of your head, is there anyone you can think of that can hear, in a non-judgemental capacity, about how you experience stress during celebratory seasons? This may be a sibling, a friend, a counselor, an acquaintance, a partner, parent, hair stylist or pet. If you manage to pinpoint a person who can express solidarity, acceptance, or just listen to your fears, this is an opportunity to create safety and drive connection, even if it all feels like a bit too much.
Name It
Tracking your physical build-up of stress is a great method of stress management and prevention. As you navigate conversations about the holidays, attune to your body. What discussions are making your heart race, and with whom? What thoughts are you getting stuck on related to holidays, that you can’t release your grip from? These are all indicators that stress is building in you; and if we can learn to name it, we can learn to tame it.
Tame It
Ok, now that we’re covered the awareness, what can we do when we notice stress is building? I like to call on the S.O.A.R model for mindful somatic processing, to begin to release this tension from the body.
- Sense: What is going on in the body? Pay attention to your heart rate, body temperature, energy levels.
- Observe: How is this impacting you overall? Are these sensations changing as you sit with them?
- Articulate: Get a piece of paper and a pen, and write down your thoughts. Or say them out loud. Tell your ally, or voice record your thoughts.
- Reflect: What are the deeper softer feelings behind these senses? Is your body trying to “protect you” from overwhelm? What might be the meaning of these feelings?
Shift the Focus
Putting your attention on the things you are in control of, and are looking forward to, or building these things into existence may make the holidays more tolerable. If none of this feels accessible for you, let’s think about what makes you feel good, and indulge in those things.
Is it eating a meal at your favorite place? Is it a movie? Is it time alone, or the opposite? Let’s define this and commit to returning to this moment when things feel too much.
Saying No
It can feel like a mountain never worth the climb- but there may come a time when saying no is the best way to emotionally and physically safeguard your time, energy, money, and capacity. Sometimes the concern around saying no is the way others will perceive us for not accommodating or tending to requests. However, if we can ground our “no” in gratitude, that may be the perfect recipe to demonstrate thanks and appreciation while tending to our needs. It may sound like, “thank you so much for the offer. I’m so grateful you’re open to including me, however, I can not commit to that”.
Written By Hannah Marsala
M.S.W., R.S.W., RP (Q)